♥ 

I've grown tired of missing something that has never been mine

          tired of the stolen moments of fantasy in between the reality of our separate lives

There is an ocean between your heart and mine and you don't learn to swim simply on faith

She told me, "You shouldn't give your little bowl of love to just anyone who says they'll treat it with care."  And all I could retort with was, "But his heart is like mine." 

It was more of a whispered wish than a statement of fact.

Heart: You love him.

Brain: You're stupid when you're in love.

Him: I won't hurt you like the others.

Brain: That sounds familiar.

Heart: I am too frail for any of this.

Brain: That is the smartest thing you've ever said.

Stop putting Band-Aids over things that have been shredded into pieces. Stop forcing things to mean more than they actually do. Stop trying to will nothing into existence. Just stop.

♥This is where it ends

With so much potential

     but no where to go from here

And I will miss the sweet sleep your voice gifted me nightly

And my heart will remember how to beat without your warmth

No amount of sorries can mend a broken heart

     as much as I wish they could

After all that could have been

     this is where it ends

♥ This isn't the way it was supposed to go
                 except that it did


and we can argue about
                 the why, the how
                 the who


     but we can't seem to figure out how to solve anything


so it's all in shambles
                and we walk over the eggshells of our broken hearts


crunchcrunchcrunch


and when I look into the blue of your eyes, mine well up with tears
               at all the plans we've made
               that will never come to fruition


      and at all the love we share that just isn't enough to make a difference

♥This is what you've molded me into


This is what you've worn me down into being


numbandtiredandisolatedandhopeless

♥your voice
         should be what calms 
 all the anxiety i'm so overwhelmed with
daily
instead you remind me
      of why i choose to remain 
silent
i need to counter your LOUD WORDS
        by stifling my own (help help help)

♥The words tickle the back of my throat..."I" "miss" "you"


But I swallow them back. Speaking them won't change anything.


We are who we are and no combination of words will change that.


You are a maze my heart will never find the means of conquering.


Yet, part of me will always want to give it a try.  

♥ You slip me a folded piece of paper across the table.

I skeptically reach for it.

Staring at you and your beautiful face,

it’s hard to believe all the ugliness that has surrounded our every exchange.

compromise disappointment deceit

I open the piece of paper and take in the two words.

Bare. Minimum.

I sigh as you get up from your seat and walk over toward me.

We walk out of the room holding hands.

♥ You come and go


and come and go.


and cum. and go.


Always warm-bodied,


always cold-hearted.


Always just beyond my reach.


I stay and stay and stay.


Silent. Loud. Restless. And still.


But I always stay.

♥ I breathed in your lies and they became truths in my heart

I was too giving too hopeful too stupid
to see you for who you are

Blinded by a longing for something different
blinded by everything I wanted you to be
and by a selfish desire for you to be better than you really are

You didn't break my heart, you only tricked me into thinking that you did
(youdon'tdeservethebesttheworstoranypartofme)